Common Fears
Typical childhood fears can crop up suddenly during the fall and winter months. Children's experience of fears tends to heighten during seasons when families travel more and children experience new social situations and exciting festivities. A toddler can show terror when encountering a relative's tall, over-friendly dog. A three year old may become frightened by a trick-or-treating monster or birthday party clown or a jolly someone dressed in a red suit for a photo shoot. Some 3s begin having vivid nightmares, waking parents with wide eyed recollection of a scary animal that was trying to eat them. Four and five year olds may plead to have the light left on because they are certain something is lurking under the bed. Thunder storms may drive them straight into your arms. Having been children ourselves, we are aware of these scary feelings and see them as typical. What we may lose touch with over the years is how intense these experiences can be for children. Here is a link that shares great strategies on how to support children when fears crop up.
Common Phases
Some anxieties come along in most children's lives as predictably as the tides, yet adults can still feel taken aback when they do. A family scene at the airport recently illustrated it for me. Grandparents had arrived from another state and were in the midst of giving happy hugs all around to their kids and grand-kids.The nine month old's face crumpled when grandma came in close and he began to wail and cling to his dad. Luckily grandma didn't seem to take it personally and backed off with an understanding smile. Dad clearly felt embarrassed, though. He apologized saying his son had seemed a little sensitive to strangers lately, but he hadn't anticipated the little guy's fearful reaction to grandma. Stranger anxiety is a developmental phase and commonly comes up from about eight to twelve months. Some children may experience it earlier or for a longer duration, and it gradually passes.Other common frights in the first year include being startled by loud noises and movement that gives baby a feeling of falling.
Most toddlers will develop another typical fear, separation anxiety. Peak time for onset is from 14 to 18 months, and intensity usually drops off by age 2 1/2. At Kidspace, teachers work with parents to establish clear and confident drop off routines. They encourage parents to establish a daily ritual that's fun and comforting. One many have adopted is to give their child a choice of hugging the parent goodbye or pushing him/her out the door. It's lighthearted, shows confidence in the child's ability to cope, and lets the child determine what they need most at leave-taking time. Providing children with a transition object (lovey) for these times brings them comfort. For a child experiencing the height of separation anxiety, keeping goodbyes brief generally helps them to regain their composure fairly quickly after parents leave. Long goodbyes during this developmental phase can prolong and heighten the anxiety children feel. For some children separation anxiety can appear overnight, leaving parents feeling as bewildered and upset as their child.One day you are dropping off a happy camper who zips away from you after a kiss and a hug to explore new adventures in their classroom, the next your child seems absolutely terrified to let you go. Please talk with your child's teacher if you'd like more ideas on developing a leave-taking routine that is most helpful to your child's specific needs during this developmental phase.
I am wishing parents well in this season of stormy weather, special excitement, travel and changes to routine. With understanding and empathy parents can help children find their way more confidently through the scary feelings they experience.
Please share with us in the comments section your experiences and what has helped your family during times of childhood fears.
No comments:
Post a Comment