Expressions of Thankfulness

I've noticed several friends on a social media site have taken up an intentional practice for this month of November of posting one or more things a day for which they feel grateful. It's gotten me thinking of what influences shape our sense of appreciation for what we have and enjoy in life. The photos I'm including are from last year's Ballard Turkey Trot where I saw whole families out together for a Thanksgiving morning 5k that raised thousands of much need funds the Ballard Food Bank.

What did your parents model for you? Did they actively try to cultivate your awareness and expressions of gratitude? Is this a value you now have for your children?

One woman I talked to mentioned that teaching children to express gratitude was very important to her parents. When she was a child they emphasized the importance they gave it by only allowing her and her brother to play with new toys after they had drawn a thank you picture or written a note to those who had given them the gifts. She incorporated this tradition with her own children by having paper and craft supplies available at birthdays and holidays so that the family could share a fun time of making creative thank you cards together right after gift opening. Her daughter and son-in-law who live far away have carried on the tradition of an immediate "thank you" with their three kids ages 6, 4, and 1 1/2, but added a new  twist that has delighted the givers in their children's lives. They take a smart phone photo of the child opening and enjoying the present, attach it to a text message voice clip of the child talking about the gift and saying thank you, then send it off to the giver in a matter of seconds.

Going deeper with children than social manners of responding with thanks, some parents want to model how a sense of gratitude can be expressed through altruism and sincere regard for others.Some look for community service opportunities their family can participate in together such as canned food and clothing drives or helping serve meals at a food pantry dinner. One family I met regularly shops for and packs a few Ziploc bags full of, soap, toiletries, socks and nutrition bars and lets the children offer these when homeless people approach their car for donations.Is there anything your parents actively encouraged with you or that you are doing with your children now that you find worthwhile? My niece often hosts our family's Thanksgiving meal at her home. She has a simple tradition she started when her kids were little of having each person around the table share out loud one thing they felt thankful for that year. It's become a very meaningful part of our family traditions and memories.

My dad never talked about it, but I knew he had lost his father at age 4 and that his family experienced financial hardship that caused him to be "farmed out" with another family for a year during the Great Depression. Looking back on his example of a lifetime of thoughtful generosity towards kids, especially those who had lost a parent or were not well off, I can see perhaps his own experiences must have created a deep compassion in him. I think his own thankfulness for the kindnesses shown him along the way and the stability he attained in later years spilled over into his hospitality and inclusiveness. And that was a great model for me and my brother. We learned our abundance wasn't an entitlement, but a real gift to be savored. There were always others at our table, new toys donated to children's charities, friends' kids with us on vacation trips, and a houseful of families with kids at birthdays and holidays for whom dad personally shopped for just the right presents and let me share by wrapping them up.

As we Americans prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends, we become more aware of what we are grateful for and how we share that with our children. We would love to hear what your family does and the ideas you've tried. Just click comment to write us a note about it and share your traditions. If you'd like to see more ideas others are talking about for giving thanks and giving back with children, check out this article from the Huffington Post by Shelly Landon of the Family Dinner Project. I'm wishing all Kidspace families a wonderful Thanksgiving!