The Competence That Counts Most

You may have noticed that Kidspace teachers really pay attention to children's emotions and giving them practice in effective social skills.The teachers are very intentional in the ways they speak and act with children. They are aware that modeling and scaffolding healthy practices fosters children's awareness of their own emotion states, their growing ability to self regulate and be attentive. They provide lots of opportunities to build strong social and emotional skills. Children grow in confidence and become aware of other's viewpoints and needs, building  empathy. A strong social and emotional core is essential to children's optimal early development and key in future academic and life skills success.

"Social and emotional competence is the ability to understand, manage, and express the social and emotional aspects of one's life in ways that enable the successful management of life tasks such as learning, forming relationships, solving everyday problems, and adapting to the complex demands of growth and development. It includes self-awareness, control of impulsivity, working cooperatively, and caring about oneself and others. Social and emotional learning is the process through which children and adults develop the skills, attitudes, and values necessary to acquire social and emotional competence."  ~from Promoting Social and Emotional Learning, Maurice J. Elias et al, 1997.

A number of months ago UW hosted a lecture by child psychiatrist and pioneering researcher in interpersonal neurobiology Dan Siegle. His research findings support that our practices at Kidspace are on track. He was able to concisely explain in layman's terms the reasons paying attention to social and emotional intelligence is so vital. Here's a link to a short TED talk by Dr. Siegel  which condenses key points of the lecture I heard. I invite you to take a few minutes to view it for a fascinating and engaging shorthand explanation of the complex neural mechanisms beneath social and emotional intelligence and its importance.

We parents want our children to learn to read well, write expressively, find ease in doing math computations, become fascinated with scientific inquiry, become physically agile and athletically adept, create and enjoy music and art, be able to reason logically and think critically, gain a rich appreciation of history, cultures, peoples. We also want them to become caring and thoughtful participants in society. We have such high hopes for the richness of their lives and the possible paths they will be able to pursue. Social and emotional learning is a key support to all other types of learning. A strong foundation for all those possibilities is built in these first few years. In architecture it would be foolish to try and build the upper stories of a building before spending considerable time doing the ground work and building solid lower stories. It's the same in human development. For young children, play is their important work--how they develop their understanding of all of life. They develop, learn, and investigate the world through play. This happens through complex play activities that invite children to think, problem-solve, and use their imaginations. When children engage in this play, they must plan, create a focus, and endeavor toward a goal. These are all essential life and work skills. And it is through their daily play with each other and their interactions with family that they build their social and emotional intelligence.The teachers strive to create an environment that fosters this important work of the children.

What are your thoughts about this? Please share them with us in the comments box below. Have any good reads on the topic, share those, too!

Here are some related books you might enjoy exploring. (* Indicates they are in our parent lending library.)

* Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Galinsky, Ellen (Apr 20, 2010)

*Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting by Gottman PhD, John and Daniel Goleman (Sep 20, 2011)

Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children by Lantieri, Linda and Daniel Goleman (Jun 1, 2008)

*The Developing Mind, Second Edition: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are by Daniel J. Siegel (Feb 27, 2012)

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Bryson, Dr Tina Payne and Siegel, Dr. Daniel (Aug 16, 2012)

*Parenting From the Inside Out by Siegel, MD, Daniel J. and Hartzell, Mary (Mar 31, 2003)

Seven Skills for School Success: Activities to Develop Social and Emotional Intelligence in Young Children by Schiller, Pam (Jun 1, 2009)

A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play by Paley, Vivian Gussin (May 27, 2005)

Einstein Never Used Flashcards: How Our Children Really Learn--and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less... by Hirsh-Pasek, Kathy and Roberta,Michnick Golinkoff (Nov 7, 2012)

Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings by Ginsburg, Kenneth R. (Apr 1, 2011)