Can Do Kids

While glancing through a classroom equipment catalog featuring curriculum products for practical life skills (a particular focus in Montessori pedagogy), I was reminded how much young children enjoy and need regular practical work to do around the house and in the classroom. Having a one-year-old help sweep by holding the dust pan and emptying it in the bin is not necessarily efficient, but it is fun and their ability grows ever more elegant with opportunities to practice. Nothing compares to the smile on that child’s face when they are trusted to help with real tasks that need doing. Very young children love to help with tasks because they are doing it with a beloved adult. When we adults offer opportunities for them to try something they see us doing, they welcome the chance to help and they develop important essential physical skills. Sometimes that’s hard for us because it takes more time and patience than we may feel we have in the moment and we’d rather just get something done or done well. Investing in some “let’s do this together” time will pay dividends to everyone down the line.

Occupational therapists tell us they are called upon to do more hand strengthening therapy than ever before because young children don’t get much normal practice in common hands-on skills. Unstructured free play is also more limited, replaced by programmed and scheduled activities, digital games and screen time. Think of grasping, pulling, pushing, twisting, throwing, catching, leaping, balancing, steering—all skills developed naturally through play and doing practical things.  OTs also report concerns that babies don’t have enough skill building opportunities, too. Infants don’t get as much tummy time and older babies have less floor time. This deprives them of opportunities to build essential neural pathways, gain coordination and muscle strength, figure things out, and build the skills necessary for typical developmental milestones like rolling over, reaching, crawling, cruising, walking, sensing where their bodies are in space, and overall physical coordination.  These skills all affect complex cognitive skills that come later, like sequencing, learning to read and write, and developing self-regulation.

It was the norm in your parents’ generation for kindergarten-age and older children to get themselves to and from school or to the bus stop. For a number of reasons, that has changed. Because children lack repeated natural opportunities to be responsible and do things for themselves and for the family, they miss out on the developmental skill building that used to take place naturally through the course of a day. It’s not just the fine motor and large motor skills that don’t get enough fostering; it’s things like being able to make a plan of action, take initiative, manage time and figure things out when something doesn’t work. These are ways children build an inner sense of being a competent person.

You may have noticed in your own lifetime that most day to day home routines and maintenance responsibilities have shifted almost exclusively to adults in the household. In the not-so distant past, North American children were actually depended upon to assist their families with most household routines and even with farm or family business chores. Not as many contemporary families incorporate intentional instruction and regular opportunities to practice the practical skills involved in home care, yard care, vehicle care, pet care, managing finances, and child care skills. These are not subjects generally covered in public school curriculum. Many kids graduate high school not knowing how to handle personal finances, cook a nutritious meal for themselves, or maintain effective routines to care for their own living environment and belongings.

So where might parents start to offer practice in practical skills? Let kids use household tools! Tools, tools, and more tools! Real adult tools, devices, and everyday equipment you use to accomplish what needs doing around the house. Introduce and supervise use of brooms, dustpans, screwdrivers, jar openers, towels, handheld vacuums, brushes, bag clips and clothespins, flashlights, sponges, mops, dusters, tape, scissors, utensils, staplers, tape measures, pliers, spoons, mixers, and on and on.

Tools AND letting them work with their hands to do things for themselves or alongside and with you as you are doing things. What follows is by no means an exhaustive list, but try ticking off  and doing three or four things that you think match your child’s age/developmental capabilities.  

Things like: dressing and undressing themselves at whatever capability they have now (mastering buttons, snaps, zippers, Velcro, laces, getting things on frontwards, shoes on correct feet will come in time with practice), helping you with meal prep and setting the table, tidying up for company, cleaning the dog’s water bowl, sweeping or vacuuming up a spill, using a screwdriver to attach a light switch plate, putting new batteries in equipment, dusting the blinds, safely plugging in or unplugging a cord, putting postage stamps on bills to mail, taking out the recycling, compost, and trash, planting new flower pots, pulling weeds, using a cultivator, setting up the sprinkler, changing the sheets on the beds, folding laundry, measuring ingredients for a recipe, making a shopping list and finding the items in the market, vacuuming out all the crumbs from their car seat and the floor mats, beating the dust out of scatter rugs and door mats, pouring windshield fluid into the car reservoir, unscrewing and later screwing back on the lids of condiments jars at a cookout, making sure all the candles have been blown out after company leaves, putting soiled clothes in the hamper, spreading a tablecloth, putting ice in water glasses, refilling ice cube trays, scraping dishes and loading the dishwasher, making a bed, scouring and drying pots and pans, polishing silverware, using a drill with a screwdriver bit to unscrew and change out a towel rod, hammer a nail in to fix a fence or hang a picture, brush the dog and clean the fur from the brush into the bin, damp mop the kitchen, dry mop the wood floor, dust the coffee table, iron napkins, count the number of items at the market to see if you can use the express checkout, sort colors of laundry, squeeze out drops of plant food into the watering can and water the houseplants, squirting a spray bottle to mist them, warm glue bonding decorations on a flower pot, pushing the mower, clipping the hedge, raking leaves, turn on the porch light at bedtime and turn it off again in the morning, using the hand mixer to beat cake batter and make frosting, unscrewing or popping open the cap on the toothpaste tube, squeezing just enough onto the toothbrush, closing the cap, cracking eggs into a bowl and scrambling them, filling the bird feeder and the cat’s food bowl.

The possibilities are only limited by a child’s current level of development, what needs doing, and your ability to spend time with them to introduce and help them incrementally master skills and small tasks for short periods. As you model self-help and practical routines and how to handle common tasks, you can also model good self-care, “After we finish up, let’s take a little water break and relax and read a story or play something.” Allowing children of any age regular opportunities to build competency in practical skills will foster their physical and neurological development in essential ways and give them a sense of belonging, contributing, and being a capable person.

We would love to hear your recommendations and what your family currently does along these lines? Use the Comments Box. What did you enjoy doing with your parents around the house when you were young? What opportunities for practical work, unstructured free play, floor time and outdoor exploration are working for your family? Anything new you’d like to try?