Food Fight

Eating with and feeding children can be some of the most pleasant time we spend with our kids. It can also be the most frustrating and anxiety provoking as well. Our kids are wholly dependent upon us to provide the healthy nourishment they need to live and grow. So why is feeding them so difficult sometimes? You've heard it said there are three things adults can't make a child do: poop, sleep, and eat. It’s true, and there's the rub.
Parents worry when a child doesn't eat. Parents worry when a child will only eat certain foods. Parents worry when a child eats lots of everything and keeps asking for more. Parents just worry. It's only natural to want to take control of the situations that worry us. Becoming domineering of our children's eating just tends to create exasperating power struggles, though. On the opposite end, we can’t be negligent and unconcerned about our children's nutrition, so how to find some middle ground that works.

Dividing responsibility with our children is a wise and healthy approach to the feeding relationship that can lessen our worries and drastically reduce drama at the table. This approach is advocated by Ellyn Satter, a Registered Dietician who also holds master’s in Social Work. She has been one of the most trusted voices in child nutrition for the past 30 years and authored several books including the now classic, Child of Mine:  Feeding with Love and Good Sense. Her thoughtful and well-researched approach opened up for many parents the possibility of a successful division of responsibility in feeding based on respect and trust. Adults are responsible for deciding where and when eating takes place and the nutritious foods that are offered, children are responsible for deciding what and how much they eat. “Parents provide structure, support and opportunities. Children choose how much and whether to eat from what the parents provide.”  Satter bases this division of responsibility on research showing that children DO eat, and that over time they eat a variety of foods. Knowing this, parents can relax and put an end to the food wars that can dominate dinner time and enmesh parents in patterns of cajoling, bribing, tricking, demanding, and manipulating. Satter assures parents:

"Fundamental to parents' jobs is trusting children to decide how much and

 whether to eat. If parents do their jobs with feeding, children will do their 

jobs with eating:

·         Children will eat

·         They will eat the amount they need

·         They will learn to eat the food their parents eat

·         They will grow predictably

·         They will learn to behave well at the table"

 

For more information on strategies and nutrition at specific ages and stages, please inquire about our helpful books in the parents lending library. We also have many informative handouts for quick information on specific ages and typical concerns parents have in child nutrition.